Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand how hurricane paths work

When have you been in an accident where the other person involved blatantly lied to the police about what transpired?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

How conservative the Japanese people really is? And the government?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why did Trump’s team spin the lie that Melania Trump spoke several languages? Do they not realize she can hardly speak English after living in the US for over 40 years?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

How likely is it to make a living out of being a window cleaner in a Nordic country?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Why do Argentinians use "vos" instead of "tú" in informal speech?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Do all therapists specialize in one specific type of therapy, or are they trained in multiple types?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for fakery

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I have a reading level above third grade

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What are the best Jewish jokes?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I took a video of my serve (60 FPS) and it took 0.4 seconds from my racket to the service line. How fast would you say my serve was?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Why does my best friend call me ugly and act like she’s joking, but today she looked at me and said “I wouldn’t lie to you”? What should I say back to her?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why do people who aren't trans feel the need to put pronouns next to their name or picture? It seems so cringeworthy to me, to participate in that SJW paradigm of thought, like they are a spineless person who just goes along with the trends.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why does my vagina and around my butthole itch? I don't have weird discharge and I'm still a virgin.

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

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I can count

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What are some ballbusting stories?

I can read

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I see through liars

I don’t buy bullshit

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.